The book of Genesis tells us that God made all animal life before He made Adam. Then, God said, “It’s not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” God took a rib from Adam, and He made Eve. In Eve, Adam found the complement that was missing in his life, and in Adam, Eve found the complement and place where she belonged. Together with God, they were now complete. They all needed one another to be complete.
God gave Himself something that day to love and to save. God gave Adam something to love and to serve. God gave Eve something to respect and to love. In a way, this was the first marriage ever to happen. Three things – not just two people. God to Adam to Eve. This is what makes a marriage to work.
Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” When God says nevertheless, He is saying, I want you to do all the things I just told you to do but I want you to especially do this. Husbands, love your own wives, and wives, respect your husbands. Marriage needs these things to be whole and complete. It needs these things because they are complementary, the same way God saw that man needs woman to complement his life and make it whole.
The man is always looking for something that is missing in life, and the woman is always looking for her place of belonging in life. Adam was missing that rib that God had used to form Eve. And Eve was looking for the place in the body where she would naturally fit like any other rib. Life in a way is the pursuit of finding the complementary things that are missing.
In any relationship, the man and the woman have different primary needs. God saw this with Adam and Eve, and it exists still today. Love is the foundation of any relationship; that is why Jesus came to give His life for us. But love looks not just for love in return; it looks for love and something more that complements its work. We love Jesus, so we long to obey Him. Love is complemented by obedience.
Many marriages and relationships do not work the way they should because the man and the woman may be willing to bring love into the start of the relationship, but they do not bring the complementary things needed to make that love amazing. We love, expecting to get love in return. But we need more, and our love should lead to more. If love is the right hand, it needs a left hand.
Men, consider this. When you are told to love your wife, love her boundlessly in ways that cause her to respect you. Respect is the complement to your love for your wife, and love is the complement to your wife’s respect. Since the wife is asked to respect her husband, God wants husbands to love in amazing ways so that our wives find it easy to respect us with amazing love. Love and respect and complementary.
Ladies, consider this. When you are told to respect your husband, do it in ways make it easy for him to love you with the most respecting of all love. The wife’s respect is the complement to the husband’s love. Since the husband is asked to love his wife, God wants you wives to respect in amazing ways so that your husbands find it easy to love and care for you in the most cherished and respectful ways. Respect and love are complementary.
Love needs respect, respect needs love, and it all needs God. Husbands, don’t make it difficult for your wives to respect you. It is hard for a wife to respect an unloving, selfish, and carnally driven man. And wives, don’t make it difficult for your husbands to love you. It is hard for a husband to love an emotional, selfish, and carnally driven woman. And husbands, don’t look to your wives for respect—or wives, don’t look to your husbands for love—unless you have first looked to Jesus with respect and love.
If you do this, you will have a great chance to change the path of your marriage, to have the marriage God intends for you to have. Bring that which is complementary to that which you want the most from your relationships. God will bless you for this. The right needs the left; the left needs the right; and it all needs God.
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