This is the sixth message in the Skillful Living Series. The message today is developing Social Maturity.
So, what is social maturity? Well, I don’t have a dictionary definition for you. But when you ask the people around you, I think they would probably say it is the ability to stop living like you are a two-year old. Socially mature people don’t just get older, they grow up. Adult immaturity is not a natural phase of your development.
You cannot be skillful in how you live your life when you are unskilled at how you manage your life. Exceptional people are skillful at being the best they can be and at being the best for others. They are never selfish but always selfless towards others. Your social maturity is the thing that has the greatest impact on how you are perceived by others.
Our immaturity is the place where we see how our worst behaviors and attitudes can control the best things about us. God warns us of this constantly. In 1 Corinthians 3:2, scripture says, “And brothers, I could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal people, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able.”
Paul is telling us that when we have all 32 teeth, we should not still live like we can only take milk from a bottle. Unfortunately, many of us live just that way. Social maturity shows up in us in these three areas. We see it first in what we want, then in how we want things to be, and finally in what things we want to happen for us.
If you believe you are the most important thing in your life and in the life of others, you are probably still taking milk when everyone else is eating solid foods. When you still live with envy, when you are prone to stirring up strife, when you are divisive because you cannot keep your mouth closed, when you prefer only those who prefer you, and when you must have all that you want, you are living an unskilled selfish and socially immature life.
What then shall we do? How can we learn to grow up when we are already old? How can we unlearn what we love so that we can come to love what we have not learned. Well, I have the ten commandments of social maturity that will help you. Those of us who are skillful routinely avoid living these ways:
- Number One: Don’t just get older, grow up. Even children must grow up. You are no exception.
- Number Two: Don’t get your feelings hurt when you don’t get your way. Sometimes it’s better that you don’t have all that you want.
- Number Three: Don’t be so driven that you drive others away. There is a time to relax on every journey.
- Number Four: Don’t be hurt when you are not invited to the party. Sometimes your absence is good for others.
- Number Five: Don’t try to control everything that happens around you. Sometimes the things you don’t control will make you better.
- Number Six: Don’t act out your negative emotions and call it passion. There are times when you may not be what is best for the situations you face.
- Number Seven: Don’t live like you must be first in everything. When you must be first, people will allow you to walk alone.
- Number Eight: Don’t put your life in the middle of the social network. People don’t always need to know everything you want them to know about you.
- Number Nine: Don’t get so close to your feelings that your feelings get hurt easily. Others will stay away. Many people control their feelings; they don’t want to have to control yours for you too.
- Number Ten: Don’t lose control of yourself or people will make sure you have no control over them.
Ok, I said Ten but Twelve is the new Ten.
- Number Eleven: Don’t act like you must be the center of attention. When you are too much for others, they will have none of you.
- Number Twelve: Remember, things will be ok even if you do not get your way.
Now don’t go thinking these are not for me. Towards the end of His life on earth, Jesus asked Peter to “follow Me.” Peter felt special because the Lord chose him, but when Peter saw John following Jesus also, he asked Jesus, “What about this man?” Peter was showing some selfishness there.
The Lord said to Peter in John 21:22, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.”
Jesus was saying to Peter, just do what I ask you to do and don’t worry about others. Grow up Peter! There are enough special people in the world that I can add you to the list, and it will still not be complete.
Learn to develop your social maturity. You are not the most important thing in your life. Others are. When you learn that, you will be close to a level of maturity that others will want to emulate.
Live a Delivered Life. Love you.
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