This is the fifth message in the Skillful Living Series. The message today is developing Your way With People.
Which of these two statements is more you?
- I get along with others.
- Others get along with me.
You might want to pick both statements, but if you had to choose only one, which would best describe you?
One of the most difficult things for people to learn is how to develop an effective way with people.
How well you get along with others will tell you everything about your way with people.
One of the reasons we find it difficult to get along with others is that we find it difficult to get along with ourselves. Cain did this with Abel. When we cannot get our way with the things we want, we can easily become frustrated with ourselves and with others. People who are skillful at life learn to be the type of people who don’t fight with themselves about themselves. They get along well with who they are.
The poet Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you say and what you do but they will never forget how you make them feel.” Do you see the truth in this statement? But look a little deeper and you will see even more. A great way with people is about relationship more than it is about what we do.
But relationships are difficult for us. We want to build relationships based on the things we do, believing the more we do the more important we will be to a relationship. But that is more selfish than it is true. Look deeply at your relationship with the Lord. Once you know Him, you will never forget how He makes you feel, and you will never forget the things He says to you or even the things He does for you.
Jesus has a way with us that covers who He is to us, how He is with us, and what He does with us. He is our example of a great Way with People. Jesus’s way with us isn’t determined by the circumstances we face today. It is determined by the person He is to us each day.
Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” There is no circumstance or situation that would demand we live towards others in anything other than a peaceable way.
So, it doesn’t matter your circumstance or your situation. It doesn’t matter your role or your position. It doesn’t matter what you want to do or what you must do. You will live more skillfully when you develop a way with people that leaves them with feelings of appreciation about what you mean to them.
A skillful believer’s way with people will be seasoned with things like these:
- Believers will be love towards others. So, love others and stay away from being the evil in their lives.
- Believers will always be hopeful for the thing that will be good in the lives of others while patient in the tough times that do not go as they would like. Be good towards others, no matter how good they may be towards you.
- Believers are never the ones who have to have their way in all things. Let others believe you care about them getting what they need as much as you want what you need.
- Learn to tell others “You did a great job.” Learn to ask others “what do you think?” Learn to say to others “Could you please.” Learn to appreciate others by saying “thank you.” And learn to lift others up by saying “We more than I.”
- Give to others always, and always connect with them in a way that serves them with joy. Let your way with others be a blessing to others, especially to those who would be a curse to you or who would persecute you. Bless them and never curse them. Learn to have a way with people that will win them rather than defeat them.
- Never be more hurt to people who are already hurting. A skillful way with people will never be more disrespecting to those who are not respected, and it will never lack love and care towards those who lack love and care.
Not everyone is going to be for you. You must accept that. Sometimes the best way to respond to people who want to hurt you because of who you are or what you do is to humbly acknowledge to them how great of a blessing it must be to them that they are not like you.
The way you choose to relate to others can bring out the best in others or it can kill the best in others. You don’t have to win at everything; learn to make winners of others. That will make you of great value to them.
Jesus tries to teach us simple ways to skillfully live with others, but you have a choice. Jesus is always looking to help us be our best. He doesn’t use ways contrary to this. When you learn to skillfully navigate the way you choose to be with yourself, you will have more successes as you learn to skillfully relate with others.
Live a Delivered Life. Love you.
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